It's been
a long time since my last post. But here we are, with renewed inspiration
and focus. And commitment. I'm out of excuses now. I
completed an MA in Creative Writing (thank you, Southern New Hampshire
University) and so I can no longer say, "Well, I'm not a real writer. I
didn't study writing."
That convenient justification for not following my lifelong dream
has been eradicated.
The process of actually studying and practicing writing was
alternately exhilarating and frustrating. Learning to appreciate feedback
from people whose writing I didn't find terribly inspiring was a great learning
experience. Over the more-than two years and twelve classes, I devised
many ways of saying, "I really appreciate your feedback" when I often
didn't appreciate it at all.
But some of my classmates and several of my instructors
helped me learn to read more critically and to write more clearly. I
learned that "personal style" can't be used as a justification for
lazy writing. Shortcuts and lack of precision are not techniques.
I read books that I would not have otherwise encountered. I found authors I hadn’t previously
known. I found out that I rather enjoyed
some others I had preconceptions about but hadn’t read. My eyes were opened to old and new masters.
I discovered that I do have a story to tell, and that
it’s worth telling. My calling is to
share experiences that might help other people find their way through some dark
times. Everything is survivable if you
have the right mindset. For me, that
survival mentality came out of necessity rather than bravery. For some of my hardest experiences, I was on
my own. I had to survive, as I didn’t
have someone to hold me up, to pick up the slack.
But that’s okay: I learned to dig deep, to take a deep
breath, and to get on with it. Responsibility
is a powerful motivator for the failure-averse.
And of course, in the more recent years, the obligation to survive, to
not give up, was driven by the responsibility to Bella Pie, the amazing little
dog who owns my heart. I had a purpose
beyond myself. She needs me. I can’t fold up like a cheap lawn chair. No matter what’s in my head and heart, no
matter if my soul and bones are exhausted, she needs two meals, four walks,
countless belly runs, and no small measure of treats each day.
And of course, beyond survival, I am on a mission to
find joy, humor, and peace. Aren’t we
all? Finding those qualities is largely
a matter of mindset. Joy and humor are
present in all situations if you can change the lens through which you
experience a situation. I’m working on
that daily. And peace? A common quest, if my Facebook feed is to be believed. It is out there, again by changing
lenses. By letting things go. By understanding what is and what is not in
your control.
Let’s take this journey together, shall we?
